


Sullen Girl

by Brithna



Series: Tidal Project [2]
Category: The Devil Wears Prada (2006)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-15
Updated: 2013-09-15
Packaged: 2017-12-26 15:07:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/967386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brithna/pseuds/Brithna





	Sullen Girl

Ah, what a day! Andy made her way up the stairs to her apartment juggling her hand bag, a laptop bag, and her Chinese take-out. If she dropped the first two she couldn’t promise to care right now. It was close to mid-night and she was beyond hungry and tired.

Kicking the door closed behind her, she made it to the kitchen table just in time before dropping her precious take-out. That would have been a disaster since she couldn’t remember when she had eaten last.

Miranda was gone to Napa Valley for a shoot and _usually_ when she was gone, things were a little more peaceful in New York; but that couldn’t be further from the truth this time. At least not in Andy’s opinion.  It seemed like as soon as Miranda’s plane took off two days ago it had just been one thing after another. Thank God Miranda was due back tomorrow. Hopefully things would calm down.  At the very least Andy’s nerves would be in a better state of ‘sane’.

Dropping her other bags on the bed, Andy made short work of undressing. Food could wait a tiny bit longer; right now all she was interested in was a long hot soak in the tub. One of the best things about this new apartment was the huge claw foot tub in the master bathroom.

Naked and essentially ready to drown herself, Andy turned the water on and felt for the right temperature. Ah, center-of-the-sun hot. Perfect. While the tub filled up, Andy went back in search of all the much needed bath-time gear: One laptop, one bottle of red wine accompanied by a glass, one wireless speaker remote, and of course, her cell phone. Certainly _can’t_ be without the cell phone.

Andy put the laptop on the closed toilet lid and booted it up then placed the wine, her phone, and the speaker remote on a little table by the tub. Everything was ready. The tub was nearly full so she tossed in a liberal amount of her favorite bath salts that turned the water a light shade of blue.

Testing the water, she realized it was probably too hot but it really didn’t matter. If anything, the extra burn would help rid her of the day. Andy took a deep breath and stepped in. It wasn’t so bad. Slowly, she lowered herself into the tub, gripping the sides for support on her way down.

She gave herself a second to adjust to the water temperature then reached for the remote and her glass of wine. The right playlist was found and soon the room was filled with the soft voice of Fiona Apple. Fiona’s first album was probably Andy’s favorite relaxation tool, especially now with this fabulous bath tub. Andy let the sound of the music fill her mind as she sank further into the water.

Generally, she only allowed herself to think about _Runway_ for fifteen minutes once she was in the tub but she could already tell that tonight, whether she liked it or not, it would be all about _Runway_. After all…a lot had been going on lately.

Since their return from Paris, both she and Miranda’s lives had changed. Andy was alone. Nate had been gone for five months now and so had all the rest of her friends. To add insult to injury, her parents had practically disowned her because she would not quit her job and come home.

Miranda was alone too, going through a divorce that was plastered across _Page Six_ on a daily basis and _trying_ to figure out how to correct her mistakes with Nigel and her children all at the same time. Then there was Irv of course. Miranda tried to play it cool, like she had won and was untouchable now, but Andy knew better. Miranda was constantly watching and listening for any sign of a new attack.

 As for the two of them though, after everything was said and done, it seemed like they had formed some sort of secret bond. Andy could always tell when Miranda had had a rough night and it seemed that the same was true for Miranda. Some mornings Miranda would come into the office ready to throw her coat and bag down as usual, but she would stop suddenly, look Andy straight in the eye and wait for her response. Andy’s answer was just a simple nod that yes, everything was okay or as okay as it could be and then the day would start.

 Andy’s ‘check in’, as she’d named it, would usually done while bringing the coffee. When things seemed to be going rough Andy would hold the coffee just out of reach and wait for Miranda’s affirmative nod. Twice Andy didn’t get that nod, causing her to almost drop the coffee. She couldn’t believe that Miranda would actually _admit_ in some small way that ‘no’ things were _not_ alright.

 _Enough_. Enough thinking. Andy leaned back into the tub and put her head under the hot water.

This was a horrible idea.

As soon as Andy’s head disappeared beneath the water, the first thing she saw was Miranda’s blue eyes staring back at her. Andy sat up and rubbed the water out of her eyes, furious.

“Fuck. What in the hell is wrong with me…” she angrily slapped at the water. This had been going on for months and it was starting to get on her nerves. Piss her off. Scare her…all of the above.

Reaching for the remote, Andy flipped through the song list until she found what she needed; the one song that would calm her down.  She hit ‘play’ and ‘repeat’ then poured another glass of wine, letting the song play through one time, letting the words float over her, soothing her heart and soul.

As it started for the second time she leaned back and rested her head against the back of the tub.

_Days like this, I don't know what to do with myself_  
 _All day -- and all night_  
 _I wander the halls along the walls and under my breath_  
 _I say to myself_  
 _I need fuel -- to take flight --_  
  


God, that couldn’t be any closer to the truth. She _didn’t_ know what to do with herself. Miranda was gone and she was lost. It was borderline pathetic really. These days Andy felt like she could hardly function without her nearby. And fuel to take flight? Where in the hell would she go?

Nowhere.

She’d had that chance more than once actually but always turned down Miranda’s offer of help to find bigger and better things. Andy had no interest in leaving _Runway_. Or was it that she had no interest in leaving Miranda?

Ah, and this part made her want to beat her head against the wall.

_Is that why they call me a sullen girl -- sullen girl_  
 _They don't know I used to sail the deep and tranquil sea_  
 _But he washed me ashore and he took my pearl_  
 _And left and empty shell of me_  
  


Nigel referred to her as a _sullen girl_ at least three times in two days. Actually he had said ‘cute little sullen girl’, which was worse. But he wasn’t even _here_. All he was getting was vibes off of phone calls. Did she really sound that bad? That lost? That needy?

The rest of it just made her think about Nate and Christian. It was so stupid to have been with either of them. Yeah, there had been a time when she loved Nate but he never really loved her. Not really. He was in love with her only when she did what he wanted her to and acted and looked the way he wanted to her to. That was not love. Andy learned that the hard way.

As for Christian? That had been one of the biggest mistakes she had ever made in her whole life. What in the hell had she been thinking? Oh, right. Anything was better than sitting in her room thinking about how much she wanted to be with Miranda so she decided to go fuck some stupid idiot to wash the problem away. That was a brilliant plan.

The whole mess, Nate and Christian both, made her feel empty. It was like she had given parts of herself away for nothing.

Andy took a deep breath and closed her eyes. This part made her forget all about the empty feeling that was always in her rear view mirror.

_And there's too much going on_  
 _But it's calm under the waves, in the blue of my oblivion_  
 _Under the waves in the blue of my oblivion_  
 _Under the waves in the blue of my oblivion_  
 _It's calm under the waves in the blue of my oblivion_

 Miranda Priestly was her own personal Blue Oblivion. All Andy had to do was look into her eyes and nothing else mattered, much less existed. Nothing. When she was with Miranda, Andy became oblivious to all else. All that was left was whatever Miranda needed from her.

Miranda was able to bring her back from the brink and probably didn’t even realize it. Or maybe she did. Who knows? All Andy knew was that when her mind started to play tricks on her, and bring out the bad, Miranda’s eyes would somehow find her and hold her attention. Andy would look into them and Miranda would nod; then just like that, everything was okay again. Could it really be that simple? Could one pair of eyes be all you needed to feel right again?

Just as the song started over for the fourth time, her cell phone rang. The caller id read: Blue Oblivion.

“Hello, Miranda?” Andy checked the clock on the bathroom wall. It was almost one in the morning.

“Yes, Andrea I…did I wake you?”

“No, no I’m awake. I only got home an hour ago from the office.” Even if she had been asleep she would have said ‘no’. Miranda had not called her this late in a very, very long time.

“Ah, well good. I just wanted to call…Nigel said you sounded rather _sullen_ on the phone earlier today? I trust everything is going well at _Runway_?”

That wasn’t what she meant at all. Andy could tell. This was Miranda’s way of asking her if she was okay. “Yes. Everything is okay. I’ll be glad when you get back though.” Why not admit it?

“Oh? Is Jocelyn causing problems again?”

“No…no it’s nothing like that.”

“Andrea, are you crying?”

Was she crying? Yeah, she was and she hadn’t even realized it. “No…yes. I mean no. Everything is fine. Jocelyn is fine.”

“But you…are you fine? Are you well?”

“Yes, Miranda I’m fine too. How are you doing?”

“I am ready to come home.”Miranda sighed. “This place is driving me to the edge of criminal insanity. I admit that it is beautiful here but the next time I suggest we do a shoot at a winery, please tell me _no_ , and I mean that with all seriousness.  I think everyone here has been drunk since the plane landed two days ago. Everyone except _me_ that is.”

“Don’t worry. Next time I’ll tell you ‘no’. Why is everyone drunk but you?” Andy felt her heart warm up a bit from her own laughter and the sound of Miranda’s voice. That Blue Oblivion feeling was coming back.

“I am not _drunk_ because I…well honestly I can’t drink that much at the moment. Medication. Otherwise, I would likely be three sheets to the wind. The incompetence I’m being forced to witness is quite daunting.”

Andy wasn’t about to ask any further questions but Miranda came back with the answer she wanted before she could say anything else.

“It’s my ridiculous blood pressure. Nothing to worry about. If Irv would move to another planet I would be perfectly well indeed.”

Andy giggled, “We would _all_ be perfectly well if Irv moved to another planet.”

Miranda sighed, “Yes…but we are not so lucky. It is good to hear you laugh though. I was beginning to think something was…uh, broken on your end…” Miranda voice trailed off as she finished the sentence and they were both quiet for a moment.

“No…nothing is broken on my end. Not now.” 

“I see.”

Did Miranda see? Did she know how much she meant to Andy?  “Yes. I am…uh…I’m glad you called, Miranda.”

“I’m glad I called too, Andrea. I should have called you yesterday.”

“Was there something you needed yesterday? I can take care of it now if y…”

“No, no. Calm down. I did not need anything then, nor do I need anything now.”

“Oh…well, why are you c…”

Miranda cut her off again. “I am calling because…because I am. Is that not acceptable?”

Miranda was starting to sound like _Runway Miranda_ again so Andy knew she had to stop her before everything went south.

“That’s fine Miranda. I just wanted to make sure there wasn’t something you needed.”

“If I had needed something then I would have told you that to begin with.”

Andy rolled her eyes and leaned back into the tub. “Miranda, in case I forget to say this later on, thank you for calling me.”

“Hm…yes of course.”

“Can I ask you something? Why should have called me yesterday?” Andy was certain she must have cracked her head on the side of the tub. You never ask Miranda to do anything, right? She took a breath and held it while she waited for Miranda to answer.

“Because, I just should have. I…we…talk every single day in some form or fashion…and it was odd to not speak with you yesterday.”

This was certainly unexpected. Maybe Andy wasn’t the only one that realized how connected they were. “Okay. I understand. In that case then yes, you should have called yesterday. Please do that from now on?” If Miranda could find the courage to _admit_ that she wanted to call Andy for absolutely _no_ reason at all, then surely Andy could ask for that the call to be made?

“That sounds agreeable. Shall I call you tomorrow before I leave this dreadful Valley?”

Andy chuckled. She could tell that Miranda was biting back her own laughter. “Yes. That would be good. If it would be _agreeable_ to you, why don’t you e-mail me about anything that you need _before_ you call. That way we can talk about…other things or whatever?” Talk about going out on a limb here. This whole thing must be due to lack of food and sleep.

Miranda cleared her throat. “Yes, Andrea that sounds fine. If I come up with anything I’ll e-mail you. Before I leave though…I will call you. You should get some sleep now.”

“Okay. You’re right. Goodnight, Miranda. I hope I get to see you tomorrow.”

“You will. Bring _The Book_ tomorrow night…I will show you some of the proofs on my laptop. Nigel has out done himself this time, even with all the wine he has consumed.”

 “That sounds good. Do you want me to bring some food?” Andy said as she cross the fingers of her free hand.

“Yes, that’s fine. Bring whatever you like. Goodnight, Andrea.”

Andy shut her phone and let out a long breath as she set it back down on the table. The same song still played on her laptop and her favorite part was coming up again.

_And there's too much going on_  
 _But it's calm under the waves, in the blue of my oblivion_  
 _Under the waves in the blue of my oblivion_  
 _Under the waves in the blue of my oblivion_  
 _It's calm under the waves in the blue of my oblivion_

 Andy listened to the words one last time then turned the ‘repeat’ off and let the rest of the album play. Her Blue Oblivion had called her. Not for something she needed, but just to talk. Andy smiled and shut her eyes. This time when she leaned her head back into the water she did not hesitate. Andy allowed the visions of Miranda to roll over her like a calm wave and she wasn’t afraid of them anymore or what they might mean.

THE END

 

 


End file.
